If i come over, it means nothing
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
