He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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