i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
