Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
