I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
