The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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