it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
