I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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