the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
