Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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