it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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