Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
