Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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