They should really pass out barf bags in church
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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