Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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