So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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