My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
