we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
