its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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