Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize