Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
