whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
