my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
