Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
