i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
