I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
