People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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