when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
