If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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