literally had 100 drinks last night.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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