so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
