sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
