I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This is the high leading the old right now
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
