dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
