i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
