can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
