Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
