Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
