No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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