To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
