I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
