what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
