Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
