Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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