We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
