I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize