I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
