so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
