I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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