hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
