Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
