I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
