So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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