Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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