And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
