i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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