your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize