It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
