she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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