I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You made out with two different species that night
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
