would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
