I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
