I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
