im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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